-Ja sam Lulu, ja sam Nulu. Mi znamo kako se pokazuje ljubav- predstavile su mi se dve musave, male vile, ne veće od barbike. Letele su nestašno u zelenim haljinicama i smejale se, kikotale, tako da sam jasno mogla da vidim njihove špicaste zubiće.
-Kako se pokazuje ljubav? upustila sam se sa njima u priču kao da je najnormalnija stvar pričati sa ovim malim, šumskim stvorenjima.
-Češkaš stomak, golicaš vrat, letiš oko glave dok ti ne kaže nešto lepo. Kako ste tako glupi ljudi, zar ne znate da je ljubav nesputanost?
Ubrzo potom, Lulu je doletela do mene i zagledala se pravcu mojih grudi.
-Otvoreno ti je srce, ne pretvaraš se, ha ha ha he he hi hi!
-Odakle ste vas dve došle, jel vas ima više?- sad sam počela da uključujem racio i da ispitujem šta se ovde zapravo dešava. Došla sam da prošetam po šumi, boravim malo u prirodi, a sada, ne znam kako, stojim izgubljena u vremenu i prostoru i pričam sa dve male, zelene žene koje lete.
-Jako nas je puno, hiljade nas leti uonakolo, izgovarala je Nulu i velikom brzinom letela kroz travu, cveće i granje, praveći krugove i spirale.
-Šta si to rekla za moje srce? Šta znači moje otvoreno srce?- brzo sam izgovarala reči jer sam se bojala sam se da mi ne pobegnu Lulu i Nulu. Delovale su toliko prirodno i slobodno baš kao i sama priroda. Prirodna i neusiljena. Činilo mi se da će u času zaboraviti na mene ako im nešto drugo privuče pažnju i ostaviti me ako im ne budem više zanimljiva.
-Šta to znači?- zapanjile su se iskreno. -To znači da imaš Rupu, veliku kao Svemir, jer to i jeste sam Svemir. Zato i pričaš sa nama jer smo u Svemiru, gde je to moguće. Na Zemlji vladaju drugi zakoni. Tu se nećemo razumeti kao u ovom prostranstvu. Hej, jel ti znaš u kojoj si uopšte dimenziji?!
Nisam morala ništa ni da kažem, videle su po mom pogledu da ne znam gde sam.
-Hi hi hi, kako je smešna ova! Ti si ušla kod nas u šumu i vidiš nas jasno. Još nas bolje čuješ. Hej, pa jel ne znaš gde si?
-Ne!- sad sam i naglas rekla.
-U Zoni, iskezila mi se u lice Lulu. Sa nama nema tika taka, mi smo uvek ili nikad, svuda ili nigde. To je Zona, zelena Zona. He he he he! Imaš zelenu svetlost koja ide iz tvog srca, zato si ušla u našu Zonu. Inače, ne ne ne! Tvoj zeleni sjaj nas čini vidljivim za tebe.
-Šta ćete sada da radite vas dve? Hoćete li uvek biti pored mene?
Ulivale su mi neku spontanost i potrebu za igrom. Nisam htela da me još napuste. Odjednom sam osetila kako mi je život ukrućen i uštogljen, sapleten i odmeren, a ove dve vile ne znaju nizašta drugo osim slobode, prirode i prirodnog života. Pomislila sam na to, kakav bih ja bila da sam kao one i svidelo mi se.
-Mi nikad ništa ne radimo, mi samo živimo. I letimo. Živećemo i oko tebe stalno. Nemoj ni ti da radiš, samo živi sa nama. Naučićemo te da letiš, možeš da misliš da nema vremena ili da imaš sve vreme ovog sveta, isto je! Ne znaš šta ćeš uraditi dok to ne uradiš. Samo ovog časa ti kažem-Šta me briga! I sad letim i sad letim i sad sam srećna i sad i sad i sad. Vidiš? Jednostavno mogu da budem i na dva i na tri mesta, sad! Mogu i da letim i da češkam i da pričam sa tobom i da dižem glavicu cvetu što cveta. Ako nisam Lulu onda sam Nulu, a to je isto.
-A vi ste isto?- pokušavala sam da je razumem.
-Da, nekad ne znam ko je ona, a ko sam ja. A to nikom nije važno. Nikom nije važno!
Upitala sam ih da li još nešto mogu da mi kažu što bi trebalo da znam.
Sad su se na trenutak umirile i ozbiljno me pogledale.
-Bzzzzzzz, bzzzzzzzz! Zuji češće“, rekle su mi, „kad si poslednji put zujala?
-Nikad, nije čak postojala ni igra u detinjstvu koje sam mogla da se setim slična zujanju.
-Ha! Zuji odmah i ne staj! Zujanje je neophodno ako hoćeš da imaš informacije koje imaju pčele. One čuvaju tajne, šifre, matrice i formule koje su od velike pomoći vama, ljudima. Zujite da biste ih razumeli. Zujite umesto što dozvoljavate da budu uništene.
Stajala sam i gledala ova divna mala zelena stvorenja. Osetila sam nalet ljubavi i želju da ih zagrlim i izljubim. Bile su toliko čarobne i nevine kao kada bi mi, ljudi, ostali slobodna i nevina deca, a opet, u isto vreme, imali i mudrosti i znanja staraca.
-Nemoj da nas ljubiš, šta je to?- čudno su me gledale dok sam im objašnjavala da mi Zemljani prislonimo usne i tako pokazujemo ljubav.
-Nemoj -rekle su mi – ti nas sve vreme zalivaš svojom ljubavlju, za to ti ne trebaju usta. Ide ti zeleno iz srca. Vi ste ljudi malo uvrnuti. Do viđenja Zemljanko!
Tako su me Nulu i Lulu, šumske vile, naučile šta znači biti prirodan.
Sećam se njihovih reči: „Ako voliš da ideš u prirodu, to je zato što hoćeš da budeš prirodniji.“ Nulu i Lulu neće uvek da dođu kod mene, samo ako vide čisto zeleno iz pravca grudi. Rekle su da bez čiste ljubavi, nema ni zelene Zone.
Fairy school
“I’m Lulu, I’m Nulu. We know how to show love”, two little fairies with smudged faces, no bigger than a Barbie doll, introduced themselves to me. They flew around playfully in little green dresses, laughing and giggling, showing their pointy teeth.
“How do you show love?” I began talking with them as if it was the most normal thing in the world to talk with these small, forest creatures.
“You scratch the belly, tickle the neck and fly around a person’s head until they say something nice. You humans are so stupid. Don’t you know that love is spontaneity? “
Shortly after, Lulu flew up to me and stared at my chest.
“You have an open heart; you’re not pretending, hahahahah, hihihihi!”
“Where did you two come from? Are there more of you?” My rationality kicked in and I began wondering what was actually happening. I came to the forest for a walk, to spend some time in nature and now, I have no idea how, I was standing lost in time and space, talking to two tiny green woman, who were flying.
“There are very many of us, thousands are flying around”, said Lulu as she flew with great speed through the grass, flowers and branches, making circles and spirals.
“What was it you said about my heart? What does my open heart mean?” I uttered quickly, afraid that Lulu and Nulu might run away from me. They seemed so natural and free, just like Nature. Natural and spontaneous. I had the feeling they would forget about me in a blink of an eye if something else was to grab their attention and leave me if they were to lose interest.
“What does it mean?” they said with sincere astonishment. “It means you have a Hole, as big as the Universe, because it is the Universe. This is why you’re talking to us, because we are in the Universe where this is possible. Different laws rule the Earth. We wouldn’t be able to understand each other there, like we can in this vast space. Hey, do you even know which dimension you’re in?!”
There was no need for me to say anything; they could see by the expression on my face that I didn’t know where I was.
“Hihihihi, this one is so funny! You came to our forest and you can clearly see us. You can hear us even better. Hey, so do you know where you are?”
“No!” I was talking out loud now.”
“In the Zone”, Lulu grinned at me. “There’s no here and there with us. We are always or never, everywhere or nowhere. That’s the Zone, the green Zone. Hahahaha! You have a green light coming from your heart. This is why you entered our Zone. Otherwise, no no no! Your green light is making it possible for you to see us.”
“What will the two of you do now? Will you always be with me?” They filled me with a feeling of spontaneity, a need to play. I didn’t want them to leave. Suddenly I sensed how tense and uptight my life was, so tangled and restrained, while these two fairies know only freedom, nature and a natural life. I thought about what I would be like if I were like them, and I like it.
“We never do anything, we just live. And fly. We’ll always live around you as well. You shouldn’t do anything either, just live with us. We’ll teach you to fly. You can feel like there’s no time or that you have all the time in the world, it’s all the same! You don’t know what you’ll do until you do it. It’s only at this very moment that I’m telling you, ‘I don’t care!’ And now I’m flying and flying and now I’m happy and now and now and now. You see? I can simply be in two and three places, now! I can fly and scratch and talk to you and raise the tip of a blooming flower. If I’m not Lulu, I’m Nulu, it’s all the same.”
“You’re the same?” I tried understanding her.
“Yes, sometimes I don’t know which is which. And no one cares. No one!
I wondered if there was anything else they could tell me, something I should know. They were still for a moment, looking at me seriously.
“Bzzzzzzz, bzzzzzzz! You should buzz more often”, they told me. “When was the last time you buzzed?”
“Never. I couldn’t even remember a game from my childhood which called for buzzing.”
“Ha! Start buzzing at once and don’t stop! Buzzing is necessary if you want to have the information bees do. They possess secrets, codes, matrices and formulas that are very important to you humans. Buzz so that you can understand them. Buzz instead of allowing them to be destroyed.”
I stood there looking at these wonderful little green creatures. I felt a rush of love and the desire to hug and kiss them. They were so magical and innocent, just like if we humans were to remain free and naïve children, but still possess the wisdom and knowledge of the elderly.
“Don’t kiss us, what is that?” They looked at me strangely as I explained that we Earthlings touch a person with our lips to show love.
“Don’t”, they said, “you are showering us with your love this whole time, and you don’t need your lips for that. Green is flowing from your heart. You humans are weird. Farewell Earthling!”
This was how Nula and Lula, the two forest fairies, taught me what it meant to be natural.
I remember their words, “If you like being in nature, it’s because you want to be more natural.” Nulu and Lulu won’t always come to me, only when they see pure green flowing from my chest. They said that without pure love there is no green Zone.
